I was sitting in on a critical negotiation between one of my distribution clients and their largest potential customer. The procurement director looked at my client’s sales VP and said, “We need a 45-day payment term instead of your standard 30 days to make this work with our cash flow.” Without hesitation, the VP responded, “We can’t do that. Company policy.” I watched as months of relationship building evaporated in an instant. The room temperature seemed to drop ten degrees.
A week later, I coached another sales executive in nearly the identical situation. When faced with the same request, he leaned forward and said, “While our standard terms are 30 days, we can offer 45-day terms on your first three orders to help establish the relationship and smooth your cash flow transition. Then we can implement a volume-based discount on subsequent orders to offset the standard terms.” Same limitation, completely different approach – and this one closed a seven-figure deal that continues today.
The Costly “Can’t” Default
When salespeople default to “can’t” language, several things happen simultaneously – none of them good.
First, you create an immediate barrier between yourself and your customer. You’ve essentially said, “I’m not on your side in solving this problem.” That’s relationship poison, and in our current sales environment, relationships are often the only sustainable advantage you have. Remember – whatever you sell can probably be purchased online, without your intervention. Your customer literally has an abundance of options at his or her fingertips.
Second, you train your brain to stop looking for solutions. Once you say “can’t,” your problem-solving machinery shuts down. After all, why look for a solution when you’ve already decided one doesn’t exist? It’s impossible to overstate the importance of training your brain correctly. Our job is to adapt, improvise, and overcome. That’s what salespeople do.
Third, and perhaps most damaging, you train your customers to go elsewhere first. They learn that bringing problems to you is an exercise in frustration rather than problem-solving. And who needs that?
I watched this play out last month when a manufacturing client won a major account. What happened? The competitor’s salesperson responded to a rush order request with, “We can’t meet that timeline with our current production schedule.” My client responded with, “We can expedite 60% of your order to meet your immediate needs, then deliver the remainder within ten days. Would that work?” Guess who got the business – not just for that order, but moving forward?
Shifting from “Can’t” to “Can”
This isn’t about semantics or word games. It’s about fundamentally reframing how you approach customer requests and problems. Here’s how to make the shift:
- Ban “can’t” from your vocabulary. This doesn’t mean you’ll never have to decline a request, but it forces you to find a more solution-oriented response. Instead of “We can’t deliver by Friday,” try “Here’s what we can do…” Even when the ultimate answer is no, how you communicate that makes all the difference.
- Train yourself to pause before responding. When faced with a challenging request, many salespeople panic and default to “no” simply because they haven’t taken time to think through alternatives. Make it a habit to pause, even briefly, to consider other possibilities.
- Focus on partial solutions. Perfect solutions are rare, but partial solutions often work just fine. “We can’t provide the full 500 units, but we can deliver 300 immediately and the remainder next week” keeps the conversation moving toward resolution rather than shutting it down.
- Ask clarifying questions. Often, what the customer really needs isn’t exactly what they’re asking for. “What are you trying to accomplish with this timeline?” might reveal flexibility you didn’t know existed.
The Role of Leadership
If you’re a sales manager (or for that matter, any manager), you need to remember your role in this. Your team will model your behavior, for better or worse.
When your salesperson comes to you with a challenging customer request, how do you respond? If you immediately say, “No, we can’t do that,” you’re teaching them to do the same with customers. If instead, you say, “Here’s what we can offer,” you model the exact behavior that builds customer loyalty.
I saw two managers respond differently to the same situation last quarter. A customer requested specialized packaging for a rush shipment. The first manager said, “Tell them no, we don’t have time for special requests right now.” The second said, “Let’s see what we can do. We can’t change the packaging for the entire order, but we could do it for the first 100 units. Would that help them?” Same company, same capabilities, drastically different approaches.
Sales is rarely about having perfect solutions that check every box. It’s about finding workable alternatives that solve real problems.
The Bottom Line Impact
This isn’t just about making customers feel good (though that matters). It’s about your bottom line. Companies known for problem-solving win more business, and retain customers longer than their competitors. Why? Because customers know they’ll get real solutions, not roadblocks.
Remember that procurement director I mentioned at the beginning? What if instead of a single order, that customer had represented potential lifetime value of millions? The cost of “can’t” language gets exponentially more expensive as the stakes rise.
So challenge yourself and your team: For one week, eliminate “can’t” from your customer conversations. Instead, focus exclusively on what you can do. You’ll be amazed at how many more problems get solved, how many more relationships strengthen, and ultimately, how many more sales you make.
After all, in sales, finding the win rather than defaulting to the loss isn’t just good communication – it’s good business.
