It took me a long time to learn one of the hardest truths of sales: buyers don’t owe you anything. They don’t owe you their time. They don’t owe you a meeting. They don’t owe you the courtesy of reading your email or returning your voicemail. And they definitely don’t owe you a place in their buying process just because you decided to call them.
Your access to a buyer’s attention, time, and trust must be earned. Not assumed. Not demanded through persistence. Not manufactured through technique. Earned. This is the concept of earned engagement, and it’s the bridge between understanding the Buyer’s Journey and actually succeeding in the modern market.
Earned engagement is simple in concept: a salesperson’s involvement in a buyer’s decision-making process is extended by buyers who have concluded, based on evidence, that this particular salesperson has something genuinely worth their time.
Buyers complete 70-80% of their purchasing journey before they ever engage with a salesperson. In most cases, they’ve already identified a preferred vendor before the first meeting. That means the sale is largely won or lost before you ever get in the room. That can either suck or be great, depending on whether or not you are that person. Knowing the difference is crucial.
The salesperson who waits until a buyer raises their hand to start building credibility has already lost. By the time that buyer is ready to talk, they’ve consumed content, read reviews, talked to peers, and formed opinions – and in most cases, they’ve decided who they want to work with.
The salesperson who has earned engagement isn’t starting from zero when that buyer calls. They’re meeting the buyer wherever the buyer actually is – often deep into Investigation, sometimes approaching Solution – because the preliminary work of building trust and demonstrating expertise has already been done. This is a new variant of what Harvey Mackay used to call “Digging your well before you’re thirsty.” Harvey was saying this in a pre-Internet world, and his focus was on networking. It’s still a great concept for networking – but it has another dimension in today’s world.
Digging Your Well by Building Credibility
So what does this “evidence” look like that earns engagement?
It looks like the LinkedIn presence that consistently demonstrates genuine expertise in the buyer’s industry – not generic motivational quotes or sales tips, but actual insights about the problems buyers are facing.
It looks like thought leadership. The articles. The podcast appearances. The speaking engagements. The content that signals you think seriously about the buyer’s world, not just about closing deals. Don’t think that you can’t (or shouldn’t) do these things because “you’re a salesperson, not the boss.” Salespeople are some of the best collectors of stories, best practices, and tribal knowledge in any industry; if you use them to position yourself as a thought leader, you’re ahead of the game.
It looks like referrals from trusted colleagues who have already concluded you’re worth talking to. When a buyer’s peer says “you should talk to this person,” you’ve already earned credibility you could never manufacture on your own. Unfortunately, few salespeople actively work to earn ad seek referrals.
It looks like timely, specific outreach that references something real about the buyer’s situation. Not “I was in the area and thought I’d stop by.” Not “checking in to see if you need anything.” Actual, relevant value that demonstrates you pay attention. This, by the way, is where you can use AI tools to monitor your customers and prospects to assist you in paying attention. I have a webinar coming up in a couple of weeks to demo one great tool for this.
Interrupting vs. Resourcing:
The salesperson who hasn’t earned engagement – who contacts a buyer without a genuine reason, without a specific value proposition, without any prior demonstration of expertise or relationship – is not entering a buyer’s Journey.
They’re interrupting it.
And modern buyers are very, very good at filtering out interruptions. They don’t return calls. They delete emails, and block email addresses. They decline LinkedIn connection requests. Not because they’re rude, but because they’re overwhelmed with interruptions from salespeople who haven’t earned the right to their time.
The salesperson who has earned engagement – who has built presence, demonstrated expertise, and established even a minimal relationship before the buyer’s need became acute – is not an interruption.
They’re a resource.
And resources are welcomed at every stage of the Buyer’s Journey (and even between Buyer’s Journeys), because buyers navigating complex purchasing decisions genuinely want guidance from people they trust. If you become a person who carries a reputation of helping your customers win, more prospects will want to see you – even if they’re not trying to score that particular win at this particular moment.
You Can’t Rush It, and You Can’t Fake It
Earned engagement is not a tactic. It’s a reputation. It’s built over time through consistent demonstration of genuine expertise and authentic interest in the buyer’s success. You can’t manufacture it with a clever cold email sequence. You can’t create it by being persistent enough. You can’t shortcut it by buying a list and blasting out connection requests.
This frustrates salespeople who are used to controlling their activity. You can decide to make 50 calls today. You can decide to send 100 emails this week. You can decide to attend a networking event tomorrow. But you can’t decide that buyers will engage with you. That’s up to them. And they’ll only do it when you’ve earned it.
It’s Time to Change Your Work Habits
This is why I keep saying that great “closers” do their work early. When the relationship is built and the credibility established, the close is a natural conclusion, not a battle of wills.
The salesperson’s most critical role in the Buyer’s Journey happens in the first two-thirds – but it’s a relationship-building, thought-leadership, and value-demonstration role. It’s a role that encompasses truly valuable and incisive questioning (remember, that’s 80% of your chance to win or lose the sale once a Buyer’s Journey starts), but it’s not a pitching role.
Dig the well before you’re thirsty.
That means:
- Building your LinkedIn presence today for the buyer who will need you six months from now
- Creating content that demonstrates expertise, not just promotional material
- Engaging authentically in industry conversations where your buyers are already paying attention
- Asking for referrals from satisfied clients who can open doors you can’t open yourself
- Researching prospects before you reach out so your outreach is actually relevant
It means investing time in activities that don’t produce immediate returns but create the conditions under which buyers will engage when they’re ready.
When You Haven’t Earned It
Here’s how you know you haven’t earned engagement: when your prospecting feels like pushing a boulder uphill. When buyers don’t return calls. When your emails go unanswered. When LinkedIn connection requests get ignored. That’s not bad luck. That’s not a numbers game you need to power through with more activity.
That’s buyers telling you that you haven’t earned their time yet. The response isn’t to push harder. It’s to step back and ask: What am I doing to build credibility and demonstrate value before I ask for their attention?
How to Earn Engagement
You can’t control whether buyers engage with you. But you can control whether you’re building the kind of presence and reputation that makes engagement likely when buyers are ready. Prospecting still has value – and you should do it, because everyone has to start somewhere – but you should also remember that you’re probably targeting buyers who don’t know who you are and don’t have a reason to care. That’s okay, because you can start incorporating parallel habits that build relationships and demonstrate expertise long before you need something from them.
Post valuable insights on LinkedIn. Contribute to industry conversations. Write articles that help buyers think differently about their challenges. Ask happy clients for introductions. Show up where your buyers are and add value without asking for anything in return. Do that consistently, and when buyers enter their Journey, you won’t need to fight for a place in it.
You’ll have already earned it.
