It took me a long time to learn one of the hardest truths of sales: buyers don’t owe you anything. They don’t owe you their time. They don’t owe you a meeting. They don’t owe you the courtesy of reading your email or returning your voicemail. And they definitely don’t owe you a place in their buying process just because you decided to call them.

Your access to a buyer’s attention, time, and trust must be earned. Not assumed. Not demanded through persistence. Not manufactured through technique. Earned. This is the concept of earned engagement, and it’s the bridge between understanding the Buyer’s Journey and actually succeeding in the modern market.

Earned engagement is simple in concept: a salesperson’s involvement in a buyer’s decision-making process is extended by buyers who have concluded, based on evidence, that this particular salesperson has something genuinely worth their time.

Buyers complete 70-80% of their purchasing journey before they ever engage with a salesperson. In most cases, they’ve already identified a preferred vendor before the first meeting. That means the sale is largely won or lost before you ever get in the room.  That can either suck or be great, depending on whether or not you are that person.  Knowing the difference is crucial.

The salesperson who waits until a buyer raises their hand to start building credibility has already lost. By the time that buyer is ready to talk, they’ve consumed content, read reviews, talked to peers, and formed opinions – and in most cases, they’ve decided who they want to work with.

The salesperson who has earned engagement isn’t starting from zero when that buyer calls. They’re meeting the buyer wherever the buyer actually is – often deep into Investigation, sometimes approaching Solution – because the preliminary work of building trust and demonstrating expertise has already been done.  This is a new variant of what Harvey Mackay used to call “Digging your well before you’re thirsty.”  Harvey was saying this in a pre-Internet world, and his focus was on networking.  It’s still a great concept for networking – but it has another dimension in today’s world.

Digging Your Well by Building Credibility

So what does this “evidence” look like that earns engagement?

It looks like the LinkedIn presence that consistently demonstrates genuine expertise in the buyer’s industry – not generic motivational quotes or sales tips, but actual insights about the problems buyers are facing.

It looks like thought leadership. The articles. The podcast appearances. The speaking engagements. The content that signals you think seriously about the buyer’s world, not just about closing deals.  Don’t think that you can’t (or shouldn’t) do these things because “you’re a salesperson, not the boss.”  Salespeople are some of the best collectors of stories, best practices, and tribal knowledge in any industry; if you use them to position yourself as a thought leader, you’re ahead of the game.

It looks like referrals from trusted colleagues who have already concluded you’re worth talking to. When a buyer’s peer says “you should talk to this person,” you’ve already earned credibility you could never manufacture on your own.  Unfortunately, few salespeople actively work to earn ad seek referrals.

It looks like timely, specific outreach that references something real about the buyer’s situation. Not “I was in the area and thought I’d stop by.” Not “checking in to see if you need anything.” Actual, relevant value that demonstrates you pay attention.  This, by the way, is where you can use AI tools to monitor your customers and prospects to assist you in paying attention.  I have a webinar coming up in a couple of weeks to demo one great tool for this.

Interrupting vs. Resourcing:

The salesperson who hasn’t earned engagement – who contacts a buyer without a genuine reason, without a specific value proposition, without any prior demonstration of expertise or relationship – is not entering a buyer’s Journey.

They’re interrupting it.

And modern buyers are very, very good at filtering out interruptions. They don’t return calls. They delete emails, and block email addresses. They decline LinkedIn connection requests. Not because they’re rude, but because they’re overwhelmed with interruptions from salespeople who haven’t earned the right to their time.

The salesperson who has earned engagement – who has built presence, demonstrated expertise, and established even a minimal relationship before the buyer’s need became acute – is not an interruption.

They’re a resource.

And resources are welcomed at every stage of the Buyer’s Journey (and even between Buyer’s Journeys), because buyers navigating complex purchasing decisions genuinely want guidance from people they trust.  If you become a person who carries a reputation of helping your customers win, more prospects will want to see you – even if they’re not trying to score that particular win at this particular moment.

You Can’t Rush It, and You Can’t Fake It

Earned engagement is not a tactic. It’s a reputation. It’s built over time through consistent demonstration of genuine expertise and authentic interest in the buyer’s success. You can’t manufacture it with a clever cold email sequence. You can’t create it by being persistent enough. You can’t shortcut it by buying a list and blasting out connection requests.

This frustrates salespeople who are used to controlling their activity. You can decide to make 50 calls today. You can decide to send 100 emails this week. You can decide to attend a networking event tomorrow. But you can’t decide that buyers will engage with you. That’s up to them. And they’ll only do it when you’ve earned it.

It’s Time to Change Your Work Habits

This is why I keep saying that great “closers” do their work early. When the relationship is built and the credibility established, the close is a natural conclusion, not a battle of wills.

The salesperson’s most critical role in the Buyer’s Journey happens in the first two-thirds – but it’s a relationship-building, thought-leadership, and value-demonstration role. It’s a role that encompasses truly valuable and incisive questioning (remember, that’s 80% of your chance to win or lose the sale once a Buyer’s Journey starts), but it’s not a pitching role.

Dig the well before you’re thirsty.

That means:

• Building your LinkedIn presence today for the buyer who will need you six months from now
• Creating content that demonstrates expertise, not just promotional material
• Engaging authentically in industry conversations where your buyers are already paying attention
• Asking for referrals from satisfied clients who can open doors you can’t open yourself
• Researching prospects before you reach out so your outreach is actually relevant

It means investing time in activities that don’t produce immediate returns but create the conditions under which buyers will engage when they’re ready.

When You Haven’t Earned It

Here’s how you know you haven’t earned engagement: when your prospecting feels like pushing a boulder uphill. When buyers don’t return calls. When your emails go unanswered. When LinkedIn connection requests get ignored. That’s not bad luck. That’s not a numbers game you need to power through with more activity.

That’s buyers telling you that you haven’t earned their time yet. The response isn’t to push harder. It’s to step back and ask: What am I doing to build credibility and demonstrate value before I ask for their attention?

How to Earn Engagement

You can’t control whether buyers engage with you. But you can control whether you’re building the kind of presence and reputation that makes engagement likely when buyers are ready. Prospecting still has value – and you should do it, because everyone has to start somewhere – but you should also remember that you’re probably targeting buyers who don’t know who you are and don’t have a reason to care. That’s okay, because you can start incorporating parallel habits that build relationships and demonstrate expertise long before you need something from them.

Post valuable insights on LinkedIn. Contribute to industry conversations. Write articles that help buyers think differently about their challenges. Ask happy clients for introductions. Show up where your buyers are and add value without asking for anything in return. Do that consistently, and when buyers enter their Journey, you won’t need to fight for a place in it.

You’ll have already earned it.

I had a conversation last week with a salesperson who was frustrated with his results. He’d been reading sales books, listening to podcasts, and absorbing content from LinkedIn influencers. He was fired up and ready to completely overhaul his approach. “I’m going to rebuild my entire prospecting process,” he told me. “New messaging, new cadence, new everything. I’m going to document it all and create a whole system.”

I asked him when he was going to start. “Well, I need to block out some time to really think through the strategy. Probably next month when things slow down.” Translation: Never.

This is the trap I see salespeople, sales managers, and business owners fall into constantly. They want massive transformation. They create huge projects out of small tasks. And then they do nothing because the project feels too big to start.

Remember – You Probably Don’t Completely Suck

Here’s what happens when you decide to completely overhaul something:

You get excited about the vision. You imagine how much better everything will be once you’ve rebuilt your entire approach from the ground up. You start planning the project – all the steps, all the components, all the changes you need to make.

And then reality hits. You’re busy. You have quotas to hit. You have current prospects to manage. You don’t actually have three weeks to disappear into a conference room and rebuild your sales process. So you don’t start. The massive change project sits on your to-do list, making you feel guilty every time you see it, while you keep doing exactly what you’ve always done.

And the truth is that what you’ve always done probably doesn’t completely suck.  If it did, you wouldn’t be making a living.

Meanwhile, the salesperson who added one new question to their discovery process three months ago has asked that question on fifty calls by now. They’ve learned what works, refined the wording, and incorporated it into their natural flow – and they’ve discarded what doesn’t work. Guess who’s actually improved?

“One More” Works

Instead of massive change projects, embrace the “one more” philosophy. Learn one more question. Get one more appointment. Make one more call. Read one more chapter. Try one more approach.

One more. That’s it. That’s the whole strategy.

It sounds almost insultingly simple, but here’s why it works: You can actually do it. Today. Right now. Without planning, without blocking out time, without creating a project plan. Want to improve your discovery questioning? Don’t rebuild your entire discovery process. Learn one more question that helps you understand buyer motivation. Use it on your next three calls. See what happens. Adjust if needed. Then learn another one.

Want to hit your appointment targets more consistently? Don’t redesign your entire prospecting approach. Make one more call today than you made yesterday. Tomorrow, do it again. Want to get better at handling price objections? Don’t create a comprehensive objection-handling playbook. Learn one more way to respond to “your price is too high.” Try it on your next call. See if it works better than what you’ve been saying.

Why This Actually Creates Change

Incremental improvement is like interest at the bank. It compounds.

One more question doesn’t sound like much. But if you learn one new question per month and actually use it, you’ll have twelve new questions in your arsenal by this time next year (and probably discarded 12 weaker ones). Your discovery conversations will be dramatically better – not because you overhauled everything at once, but because you kept adding one more piece.

One more appointment per week doesn’t sound impressive. But that’s fifty-two more appointments per year. At even modest close rates, that’s significant revenue impact – achieved not through heroic effort, but through consistent incremental improvement. The math works in your favor when you stack small improvements over time.  Just like compound interest.

Apply “One More” to the Buyer’s Journey

Remember, 80% of your chance to win or lose the sale is determined by the time you ask your last question. That happens in the Investigation phase of the Buyer’s Journey. You don’t improve Investigation by completely rebuilding how you conduct discovery calls. You improve it by adding one more insightful question. Then another. Then another.

Over time, your Investigation becomes comprehensive and customer-centric – not because you created a massive project, but because you kept asking “what’s one more thing I should understand about my buyer’s situation?”

The same principle applies to every phase of the Buyer’s Journey:

Motivation: Learn one more way to highlight dissatisfaction with the status quo. Solution: Add one more way to demonstrate how your solution addresses their specific needs. Evaluation: Get one percent better at presenting pricing confidently. Decision: Try one more approach to asking for the business. None of these require massive change projects. All of them improve your results.

For Sales Managers and Business Owners

This philosophy applies to developing your team just as much as it applies to individual salespeople.

Stop trying to overhaul everything all at once (unless you truly have a dumpster fire). Instead, focus on one improvement this month. Maybe it’s getting everyone to ask one specific question during discovery. Maybe it’s having everyone make one more prospecting call per day. Maybe it’s implementing one simple accountability metric. One thing. Get everyone doing it consistently. Then add the next thing.

The sales managers who succeed aren’t the ones with the most elaborate systems on paper. They’re the ones who actually get their teams to change behavior – which happens through small, consistent improvements, not massive overhauls.  Again – compound interest.

The Discipline of Small Steps

Here’s the hard part about the “one more” philosophy: It requires discipline.

Massive change projects are exciting. They feel important. You can talk about them in meetings. You can create presentations about your vision for transformation. One more question? One more call? That doesn’t feel exciting. It feels almost embarrassingly small. But small and done beats big and planned every single time.  My friend Darren LaCroix has a great saying:  “Done is more profitable than perfect,” and he’s right.

The discipline is in actually doing the one more thing every day, even when it doesn’t feel significant. In trusting that these small improvements compound. In resisting the urge to create a massive project instead of just taking the next small step.

What This Looks Like in Practice

Start today. Not next week when you have more time. Today. Pick one thing – one question, one activity, one skill – that would improve your results if you did it better or more often. Do it one more time today than you normally would.

Tomorrow, do it again. Don’t create a project plan. Don’t document a comprehensive new system. Don’t wait for the perfect time to overhaul everything.  You don’t need a whiteboard or a new app for this. Just do one more.

Next month, pick another one. Keep the first one going, and add a second small improvement. By the end of the year, you’ll have made twelve small improvements that have become habits. Your results will be dramatically different – not because you executed one massive change, but because you stacked twelve small ones.

Reaping Your Rewards

Real improvement in sales doesn’t come from massive transformation projects that never get started. It comes from small, consistent, incremental changes that actually get implemented. Stop planning the overhaul. Stop creating the comprehensive new system. Stop waiting for the perfect time to make big changes.

Learn one more question. Make one more call. Try one more approach. One more. Do it today. Do it again tomorrow. Stack these improvements over time.  Make compound interest work for you.

That’s how good salespeople become great ones. Not through dramatic transformation, but through relentless incremental improvement.

What’s your one more for today?

I’ve written before about how AI is changing the B2B buying landscape. Buyers are using tools like Perplexity and Claude to research vendors before they ever take a call. They’re finding reviews, analyzing messaging, and comparing options – all before you know they exist.

Here’s the question: If your buyers are using AI to research you, why aren’t you using AI to research them?

The gap between salespeople who leverage AI research tools and those who don’t is already massive. It’s about to become a canyon. Today’s empowered buyers expect to interact with equally empowered salespeople – ones who’ve done their homework and show up prepared. Perplexity makes this possible in ways that weren’t realistic even a year ago. Here’s how to use it to transform your sales approach.

1. Prospecting Research: Finding the Hooks That Actually Matter

Remember when I said that pre-call prep expectations have skyrocketed? Walking into a call asking “What do you do here?” is dead now. But here’s the problem: researching dozens of prospects manually takes hours you don’t have. This is where Perplexity can be a game-changer.

Upload your prospect list into Perplexity and give it a simple prompt: “Research these companies and contacts. For each one, find 2-3 specific hooks I could use in a prospecting call. Search their LinkedIn profiles, recent company news, and any relevant content they’ve posted or engaged with.” What you get back is company-specific (and even contact-specific) talking points that show you’ve done your homework.

Instead of a generic voicemail like “I’d love to talk about your trade show program,” you can say: “I saw your VP of Marketing posted about expanding into the Southwest region. I’ve worked with three companies managing that exact transition, and there are some exhibit strategies that made a huge difference for them.” That’s 1-to-1 personalization at scale, and even if you’re leaving it on a voice mail (8-9 times out of 10, you will), it will still grab attention.

The key is being specific with your prompt. Tell Perplexity exactly what you’re looking for – recent expansions, new product launches, leadership changes, industry challenges they’ve mentioned publicly. The more specific your prompt, the better the hooks you’ll get.

2. Pre-Appointment Research: Showing Up Ready to Add Value

You’ve got the meeting. Now what?

This is where most salespeople still wing it. They know their product cold, but they don’t know enough about the prospect’s business to ask intelligent questions or provide relevant insights. Use Perplexity to do extensive pre-appointment research on the company, its market position, its recent marketing initiatives, and the industry trends affecting them.

Ask Perplexity: “What are the biggest challenges facing [industry] companies like [prospect company] right now? What trends are reshaping their market? How has [prospect company] positioned itself in response?”

Then take it further: “Based on [prospect company’s] recent messaging and market position, what questions should I ask to understand their exhibit and event marketing strategy?” What you’re doing is using AI to help you think like a consultant instead of a salesperson. You’re preparing to have a conversation about their business, not just your products.

Remember my principle: 80% of your chance to win or lose the sale is determined by the time you ask your last question. That happens in the Investigation phase. You can’t ask great questions if you don’t understand their business context. Perplexity gives you that context in minutes instead of hours.

3. Competitor Research: Knowing What You’re Up Against

Your competitors are actively marketing. They’re posting on social media, updating their websites, getting reviews, and positioning themselves in the market.  Are you tracking any of this? Most salespeople aren’t. They have a vague sense of what competitors offer, but they’re not staying current on messaging changes, new offerings, or how customers are responding to them.

Use Perplexity to set up ongoing competitor research. Every week or two, run searches like: “What has [competitor] posted on social media in the past two weeks? What new content or messaging have they released? What are recent reviews saying about them?” This isn’t stalking (well, kinda, but in sales, it’s fair game). This is competitive intelligence.

When you know what competitors are emphasizing in their messaging, you can position yourself against it. When you know what customers are complaining about in reviews, you can proactively address those concerns. When you see them launching new offerings, you can prepare your response.

The refresh frequency matters here. Doing this once and forgetting about it doesn’t help. Make it a recurring part of your weekly routine – twenty minutes every Monday morning to update your competitive intelligence.

4. Self-Research: Know What Your Buyers Are Seeing

Here’s the question that should keep you up at night: What does AI say about your company? Your prospects are using Perplexity to research you before they take your call. They’re reading reviews, analyzing your messaging, and comparing you to competitors. Do you know what they’re finding?

Run the same research on yourself that you’re running on competitors. Ask Perplexity: “What does recent social media, reviews, and marketing content say about [your company]? What are customers saying? How is the company positioning itself?” This isn’t vanity searching. This is understanding your buyers’ perspective before you ever talk to them.

You might discover that old negative reviews are the first thing prospects see. You might find that your company’s messaging emphasizes features that customers don’t actually care about. You might learn that a competitor has positioned themselves directly against you in ways you didn’t realize. All of this is information you need to sell effectively. And all of it is available in minutes through Perplexity.

Remember to Click the Links

Here’s what sets Perplexity apart from other AI tools: It cites its sources. Every piece of information comes with links to where it found that data. When something is important – a significant claim about a prospect, a competitor positioning statement, a customer complaint – click the link. Verify it. Read the full context.

AI tools can occasionally misinterpret information or pull from outdated sources. The links let you validate what matters and dig deeper when you need to. This combination – AI speed with human verification – is what makes Perplexity so powerful for sales research.

Becoming an Empowered Salesperson for Empowered Buyers

I’ve written about how buyers are more empowered than ever. They have access to unlimited information. They can research independently. They complete 70% of their buying journey before they ever contact a vendor. The only way to add value to these empowered buyers is to become an empowered salesperson yourself.

That means showing up to every interaction knowing more about their business than they expect. It means asking questions that demonstrate you’ve done your homework. It means providing insights and perspectives they haven’t considered. None of this is possible if you’re walking in cold.

Perplexity – and tools like it – level the playing field. They give you the ability to do deep research at scale. To personalize at volume. To stay current on competitive intelligence without spending hours manually tracking competitors.

The salespeople who embrace these tools will have massive advantages over those who don’t. They’ll show up better prepared. They’ll ask better questions. They’ll provide more relevant insights. And they’ll win more deals.

The salespeople who ignore these tools? They’ll keep wondering why prospects seem so much better informed than they are.

Putting it in Action

Knowledge is power in sales. It always has been. What’s changed is how quickly you can acquire that knowledge and how much of it you can process.

Start using Perplexity today:

• Research your prospects before you call
• Prepare for appointments with deep company and industry analysis
• Track your competitors weekly
• Understand what buyers are learning about you

Twenty minutes of research can transform a generic prospecting call into a personalized conversation. An hour of pre-appointment prep can turn you from another vendor into a trusted advisor.

Your buyers are already using AI to research you. It’s time you returned the favor.

Congratulations! You’ve landed your first professional sales job. You’re excited, motivated, and ready to crush it. You’re also probably terrified because you have no idea what you’re doing. Welcome to the club. Every successful salesperson started exactly where you are right now – staring at a phone, a CRM system, and a quota, wondering how any of this is supposed to work.  I know I did (well, there wasn’t a CRM system).

Here’s the uncomfortable truth: A lot of companies hired you with the best intentions but haven’t built the infrastructure to properly develop you. They might not have documented processes, structured training programs, or clear guidelines for what your first ninety days should look like. That’s not an excuse to fail. That’s an opportunity to take control of your own development. Here’s what you need to do, starting today.

Embrace the Fact That You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know

The biggest mistake new salespeople make is pretending they understand things they don’t. You’re not fooling anyone, and you’re making your learning curve steeper. Your manager knows you’re new. Your colleagues know you’re new. Your prospects will figure it out pretty quickly. Stop trying to hide it and start using it as an asset.

Ask questions. Lots of them. “Can you explain how that works?” “What’s the typical timeline for this?” “How do you handle it when a customer says that?” The window where asking basic questions is acceptable is narrow – probably your first three to six months. After that, you’re expected to know. Use this window aggressively.

Find Your Go-To Person

If your company has assigned you a mentor or buddy, great. Use them relentlessly. If they haven’t, find someone anyway. Look for an experienced salesperson who seems willing to help and doesn’t treat you like an interruption. Buy them coffee. Ask if you can shadow their calls. Debrief with them after your meetings.

Most successful salespeople remember what it was like to be new, and they’re more willing to help than you think. But you have to ask. The key is having one designated person you can go to with the constant stream of questions that will come up. Don’t spread your questions across ten different people – you’ll annoy everyone and get inconsistent answers.

Create Your Own Structure

Your company might not have given you a documented sales process or a weekly routine. Build your own. Start by observing what the successful salespeople in your organization do. How do they spend their days? What does their prospecting look like? How do they prepare for calls?

Then create a basic weekly framework for yourself:

• How many prospecting calls will you make each day?
• How much time will you spend on LinkedIn engagement?
• When will you do your research and prep work?
• What does a productive day look like in concrete activities?

Write it down. Follow it. Adjust as you learn what works. The discipline of having a routine will set you apart from other new salespeople who are just reacting to whatever seems urgent at the moment.

Build Your Own Knowledge Base

Your company might not have quick-reference guides for products, objections, or common questions. Make your own. Every time you learn something new about your product, write it down. Every time you hear a great answer to an objection, document it. Every time you discover a useful resource or process, add it to your notes.

Use a simple document, a notebook, or a notes app – whatever works for you. The act of writing things down helps you remember them, and you’re building a reference you can review before calls. This becomes especially valuable when you’re on a call and a question comes up. Having your own notes to reference gives you confidence and helps you avoid the dreaded “Let me get back to you on that.”

Shadow, Shadow, Shadow

If your company allows it, get on as many calls with experienced salespeople as possible. Listen to how they open conversations. Watch how they handle objections. Notice what questions they ask and when. After each call, debrief. “Why did you ask that question?” “How did you know they were ready to talk about price?” “What were you thinking when they said that?”

This is how you acquire tribal knowledge – the unwritten wisdom that exists in every sales organization but rarely gets documented or formally taught.

Invest in Your Own Education

Don’t wait for your company to send you to training. Start learning on your own. Read books on professional selling. Watch videos on YouTube.  Listen to sales podcasts during your commute. Follow experienced sales professionals on LinkedIn and pay attention to what they’re sharing.

Most importantly, learn about the Buyer’s Journey – how customers actually make buying decisions and what role you play in helping them navigate that process. Understanding the five steps (Motivation, Investigation, Solution, Evaluation, and Decision) will give you a framework for every sales interaction.

This isn’t about becoming a sales guru overnight. It’s about building foundational knowledge that will make everything else easier.

Get Real-World Experience Fast

If you’re selling trade show exhibits, find a trade show and walk the floor. If you’re selling manufacturing solutions, visit a factory. If you’re selling software, attend a user conference. You can’t sell with conviction when you’ve never experienced the environment your prospects operate in. This experiential learning will accelerate your development more than any training manual.

Don’t wait for your company to send you. Find local events on your own. Most industry events will let you register as a vendor or visitor. Make it happen.

Accept That You’re Going to Struggle

Here’s what nobody tells new salespeople: The first six months are going to be hard. Really hard. You’re going to make calls that go nowhere. You’re going to stumble through presentations. You’re going to lose deals you thought you had won. You’re going to feel incompetent more often than you feel confident.

This is normal. Every successful salesperson went through it (even if they won’t admit it). The difference between those who made it and those who didn’t isn’t talent – it’s persistence. The struggling is part of the process. It means you’re learning. Embrace it instead of running from it.

The Bottom Line

Your company might not have built the perfect onboarding program for you. That’s okay. You can build your own development plan. Be proactive about finding mentors. Create your own structure and routines. Document what you’re learning. Shadow experienced salespeople. Invest in your own education. Get real-world experience.

Most importantly, embrace being new. Ask questions while you can. Admit what you don’t know. Use your fresh perspective as an asset instead of hiding it. The sales profession needs people like you – enthusiastic, coachable, and willing to learn. The companies that don’t provide proper structure and training are making a mistake, but that mistake doesn’t have to define your career.

Take control of your own development. The first ninety days set the trajectory for your entire sales career. Make them count.

There’s a religion spreading through the B2B sales world, and like most religions, it’s built on faith rather than evidence.  I’m hearing this preached more and more:  “Buyers don’t want to talk to salespeople. Get out of their way. Let them self-serve. Be there when they’re ready.”

And, at first glance, you might think that the data supports it. According to Sopro’s 2025 research, 75% of B2B buyers say they prefer a “rep-free” sales experience Sopro. Well, that’s all she wrote, right? Salespeople are obsolete. The future is self-service. Time to update your resume.  And time for me to find a new career.  Except….there’s more to the story.

Here’s what the same research reveals: Self-service digital purchases are significantly more likely to result in purchase regret. If you don’t believe me, go to a place where they accept Amazon returns.  You’ll find a line out the door.  Let that sink in. Buyers say they want to be left alone, then regret the decisions they make when they are.

The Numbers Tell a Miserable Story

Some of my counterparts in the B2B sales world have spent a decade preaching “buyer empowerment” and “frictionless self-service,” and the results are in. They’re terrible.  I mean – BAD.  Nearly 86% of B2B purchases stall during the buying process, and 81% of buyers are dissatisfied with their chosen provider, according to Sopro’s research.

Read those numbers again. Nine out of ten deals get stuck. Eight out of ten buyers are unhappy with what they bought. This is what “self-serve” buying looks like. Sales cycles are getting longer – 63% of B2B leads now take at least three months to decide, and 20% wait over a year. Win rates are declining. Buyer satisfaction is tanking. But sure, let’s keep getting out of the buyer’s way.

I also think that the “self-serve” attitude has led to salespeople who have decided to be reactive, rather than proactive. Make no mistake – our job is to be proactive, independent business generation machines.  That’s how we add value to our companies – but we need to add value to our customers, too.

What Buyers Say They Want vs. What They Actually Want

Wanna know the truth?  It’s shown in the numbers above: Buyers don’t actually want to be left alone. They want salespeople who don’t waste their time, head space, and money.  There’s a massive difference between those two things, but the sales world has conflated them.

When buyers say they prefer a “rep-free experience,” they’re not saying they don’t need help. They’re saying they’re tired of salespeople who show up unprepared, ask basic questions they should already know the answers to, and pitch products without understanding their situation.  They’re also saying that when they tell salespeople what they need, salespeople should, you know, listen and act on what they say.

They’re rejecting bad selling, not selling itself. The proof is in the same research. 88% of B2B buyers want to hear from vendors when researching and evaluating their options. Nine out of ten buyers want vendor input during their buying process. That’s not exactly a ringing endorsement of “leave me alone.”

The Problem with Self-Service Buying

Here’s what happens when buyers try to navigate complex B2B purchases on their own: They do extensive research. Over 80% of buyers know what product they want before starting their research, and 70% buy their initially preferred solution.

Sounds great, right? Buyers are informed and decisive.  Except they’re making overconfident but poorly-informed decisions. All that research doesn’t mean they’ve correctly identified their problem or understand which solution actually fits their needs.

Remember my principle: 80% of your chance to win or lose the sale is determined by the time you ask your last question. That happens in the Investigation phase of the Buyer’s Journey – when you’re helping the buyer define their needs correctly.

If buyers have already “done their research” and decided what they want before you’re involved, you’ve missed the most critical part of the process. You’re not helping them make a successful buying decision – you’re just taking an order for something they may regret.  That means that you need to get ahead of their Investigation phase.

The Role Salespeople Actually Need to Play

When I talk about navigating the Buyer’s Journey, the first step is Motivation – helping buyers recognize dissatisfaction with their status quo and envision a better future state.  If you’re sitting and waiting on the phone to ring, you’re missing this step – and probably a big part of the next one.  And that puts you on the back foot.

The second step – Investigation – is where most of the sale is won or lost. This is where you ask comprehensive, customer-centric questions to help buyers define their needs and priorities correctly.

You can’t do either of these things if you’re “staying out of the buyer’s way.”

Buyers who self-serve through the entire process skip right to Solution and Evaluation. They never get proper Investigation. They never benefit from someone who’s seen this situation hundreds of times before helping them think through implications they haven’t considered. The result is the misery we’re seeing in the data. Stalled purchases. Buyer’s remorse. Dissatisfaction.

When You End the Call, How Is the Customer Better?

I’ve written before about the critical question every salesperson should ask after every interaction: When you end that call, how is the customer better? This isn’t about being liked. It’s not about being friendly. As I’ve said before, the “Good Time Charlie” salesperson is obsolete. It’s about providing expertise, perspective, and insights that customers can’t get from a Google search or a product comparison chart.

Buyers can research products online. They can compare prices. They can read reviews. They don’t need you for any of that.

What they need is someone who can help them:

• Understand if they’ve correctly diagnosed their problem
• See implications and consequences they haven’t considered
• Navigate the gap between their current state and their desired future state
• Make a decision they won’t regret

But only if that salesperson has done their homework, asks intelligent questions, and provides genuine value.

Yep, I’m Going to Talk About The Generational Factor Again

Here’s what makes this even more complicated: Millennials and Gen Z now account for 71% of B2B buyers. Younger buyers have grown up with instant access to information. They’re comfortable with self-service. They’re skeptical of traditional sales approaches.

But that doesn’t mean they don’t need help. It means they’re even less tolerant of salespeople who waste their time with information they could have found themselves. Gen-Z’s and Millennials like adults in the room – IF the adults add value. The bar for adding value has gone up, not disappeared.

Putting This Into Action

The “rep-free sales experience” isn’t making buyers happier or more successful. It’s creating a landscape where deals stall, buyers are dissatisfied, and everyone loses. Buyers don’t need less interaction with salespeople. They need better interaction with salespeople.

Stop apologizing for being a salesperson. Stop trying to “get out of the buyer’s way.” Instead, become the kind of salesperson buyers actually need:

• Do your research before the call (Claude or Perplexity rocks this).
• Ask questions that help buyers think through their situation more thoroughly than they would on their own.
• Provide insights and perspectives they can’t get from self-service research.
• Help them define their needs correctly before they make a decision they’ll regret.

When you end that sales call, the customer should be better informed, better prepared, and more confident about making a successful buying decision – whether they buy from you or not. That’s not getting in the buyer’s way. That’s adding value.

And despite what the “rep-free” evangelists preach, that’s exactly what buyers need.

I was reviewing a salesperson’s weekly activity report recently, and something caught my eye. He’d logged eight customer meetings for the week. Impressive number, right? So I asked him what he’d accomplished in those meetings.

His answer? “Well, I touched base with everyone and we had good conversations.” That’s code for “I wasted eight opportunities this week.”

Purposeless Sales Calls are Cancer

Here’s a problem that’s costing salespeople and their companies millions: Too many salespeople go into sales calls without knowing what they want to achieve, and then they’re surprised when they achieve nothing. They schedule the meeting. They show up. They have a nice chat. They leave. And nothing moves forward. No progress in the Buyer’s Journey. No new information. No commitment. Nothing. This isn’t a sales call. It’s a social visit that happens to occur during business hours.

What “Another Meeting” Really Means

One of the worst objectives I hear salespeople cite is “schedule another meeting.” Unless that next meeting involves different people, addresses a different topic, or represents the next step in the Buyer’s Journey, “another meeting” is meaningless. It’s a way to feel productive without actually being productive. It’s activity without achievement. It’s the sales equivalent of running in place and calling it a marathon.

If your objective for today’s meeting is to schedule another meeting just like this one with the same people talking about the same things, you don’t have an objective. You have a stalling tactic. And you’re the one stalling, not the customer.

“Just Checking In” Is a Waste of Time

“I’m just checking in” might be the four most useless words in sales. Checking in on what? For what purpose? To what end? When you “just check in,” you’re essentially saying, “I have nothing valuable to offer you today, but I wanted to use some of your time anyway.”

Your prospects are busy. Their time is valuable. If the best you can do is “check in,” you’re training them that meetings with you are optional at best and wasteful at worst.  And I get the “checking in” impulse – I have it myself sometimes.  But instead of “just checking in,” think of two or three meaningful questions to ask.  What is it that you really want to “check in” on?  Figure it out and ask.

What a Real Objective Looks Like

Before every sales call, you should be able to answer this question clearly: What do I want to accomplish in this meeting? Real objectives sound like this:

“I want to complete discovery on their decision-making process and timeline.”

“I want to schedule a plant tour so I can see their operation firsthand.”

“I want to get agreement on the key problems we’ve identified and earn the right to propose a solution.”

“I want to present our proposal and ask for the business.”

“I want to introduce our implementation team and confirm the go-live date.”

Notice what all of these have in common? They’re specific. They represent progress. They move the Buyer’s Journey forward. These are objectives worth scheduling a meeting for.

You Have to Ask For What You Want

Here’s the part that too many salespeople miss: Once you know what you want to achieve, you need to ask for it before the meeting is over. If you want a plant tour, ask for it: “Based on what we’ve discussed, I think it would be valuable for me to see your operation firsthand. Can we schedule a time for me to tour your facility?”

If you want to move to proposal stage, ask for it: “It sounds like we’ve identified the key issues. I’d like to put together a proposal that addresses what we’ve discussed. Does that make sense as a next step?”

If you want the business, ask for it: “When would you like to get started?”

Will you always get what you ask for? No. Sometimes the answer is “not yet” or even “no.” But if you don’t ask, you’re guaranteeing a meaningless sales call. You’re leaving with nothing when you could have left with clarity – even if that clarity is “they’re not ready yet” or “this isn’t going to happen.”

When “No Progress” Is Actually Progress

Does this mean you discontinue the relationship if you don’t get what you ask for? Not necessarily. Sometimes you ask for a proposal opportunity and learn they’re not ready yet. That’s valuable information. Now you know where you stand and what needs to happen before they’ll be ready.

Sometimes you ask for a plant tour and learn they have concerns about confidentiality. That’s a buying signal – they’re worried about protecting their operation, which means they’re taking this seriously enough to think about implementation.  Be prepared to sign an NDA.  I’ve been in business over 21 years.  In the first fifteen years, the number of NDA’s I signed could be counted on one hand. In the last five years, it’s nearly become routine.

The point isn’t to strong-arm customers into commitments they’re not ready to make. The point is to get clarity on where you are in the process and what needs to happen next. That only happens when you ask.

What Sales Managers Need to Do

If you’re a sales manager, you need to reinforce this discipline constantly. Before salespeople go into calls, ask them: “What’s your objective for this meeting?” After salespeople come out of calls, ask them: “Did you achieve your objective? If not, what did you learn?”

Make this a standard part of your coaching conversations. Make it part of your sales meeting discussions. Make it cultural. When salespeople know they’re going to be asked about their objectives, they start thinking about them proactively. The behavior becomes habit.

The Bottom Line

Your prospects’ time is valuable. Your time is valuable. Every sales call should accomplish something meaningful or it shouldn’t happen. Figure out what you want from each meeting. Make sure it represents real progress in the Buyer’s Journey. Then ask for it before the meeting ends.

Will you always get it? No. But you’ll get a lot more than you’re getting now by wandering into meetings hoping something good happens. Stop “just checking in.” Stop scheduling meetings for the sake of meetings. Start every sales call with a clear objective and the discipline to ask for what you want.

Your prospects will respect you more. Your pipeline will move faster. And your results will prove that purposeful beats aimless every single time.